Gossip Girl is back bitches!

- I love the Breakfast at Tiffany's scene-turned-nightmare where Blair realizes she's searching for her cat in a garbage dump and Nate starts calling her Jenny. I think every girl's worst nightmare is when her boyfriend calls her by some other girl's name.

- "Lady Godiva, my only friend." says Blair over a box of chocolates. I thought Blair was anorexic? Or maybe they just decided to cut out the throwing up scene.

- Greatest. Line. Ever. "Then I suggest you get new hand towels," says Chuck to step-sis Serena after she says she never wishes to share DNA with him. Love it! I wonder if the teeny-boppers watching got it.

- Holy! Jenny and her new crew have invaded Barneys and Forever 21! The girls have humongous fab bright bags, a yellow-stripped jacket, scarves (Hermes?) and neon green and yellow headbands.

- Croisstants for breakfast. How New York of them.

- They mention Brody Jenner! Sigh. There is no escape from reality TV.

- Did Jenny drop the yogurt on Blair? What a bitch.

- Now I understand the perils of being a social climber. Slipping waiters $100 bills everyday to get a table was not a problem little Jenny foresaw. And why did I go into journalism?

- I miss the Asian sidekick. Who knew she was Jewish?

- Jenny walks into the equivalent of the Vogue closet. What I'm wondering is how she managed to steal a dress right in front of a group of girls.

- "The bitch is back." You go Blair! But that line is a bit corny.

- OMG! Jenny "Sticky Fingers" Humphrey is pawning a dress she stole from her new friends to get a new gown she can't afford to wear to her birthday party!

- This is how the truly rich bribe: They invest in their childrens' businesses in exchange to "be nice." The rest of us get $5 from a parents or else we get a beating.

- That dress that Jenny stole? It was a $15,000 one-a-kind Valentino. Big mistake Jenny. BIG.

- Of course we all know what must happen. You steal Valetino, you get kicked out from your crew. Sorry Jenny.

- Who is sending these stupid packages to Serena? Porn and then champagne. Actually those gifts are quite thoughtful.

- Ok, is Penelope that desperate for a man? How does Jenny get away with stealing a Valentino from her friend's closet so easily? That wouldn't happen ever. Poor Blair.

- Maybe G stands for God. Only He would give such wonderful presents.

MOSCOW - on the street, bolshaya dimitrovka + verhnyaya khohlovka + marchi + bolshaya gruzinskaya, 04/22/08

The Hills recap

- Is Lauren wearing a dress from her own line to work? Kelly Cutrone should ban it. Also, we see Whitney for approximately two seconds during the whole show and all she does is ship fabrics to New York. Tres tragique.

- "I never thought we would be together again," says Whitney to Lauren. You did? Really? Wow Whitney is either more naive than I thought or really bad at reading the cue cards the producers are holding up for her.

- Is Audrina the next Heidi? It seems that Lauren keeps pushing her away and giving her evil eyes.

- Those "You're Hearing" boxes are really annoying.

- Everyone bends over backwards for Lauren. Lo mistakenly mentions Heidi and everyone goes all quiet and looks at Lauren who looks like she heard the Devil's name spoken until Audrina changes the subject and starts talking about...Lauren.

- Heidi wants another girl's night out. Didn't she learn from the last time that girl's night out=drama? Wait, we should know by now that MTV makes these life decisions.

- Who is that mysterious old guy in the black hat who is always sitting beside Lauren but never talks?

- OMG! Heidi and Lauren are sitting at the same table. It seems like these girls have never mentally left high school because even though Heidi is sitting one person away from Lauren, Lauren acts like she doesn't exist and whispers to Lo while Audrina tries to ease the awkwardness and talks to Heidi. Apparently Heidi's evil energy pushes Lauren to the brink and she leaves while staring at Audrina. She might as well called her Judas.

- Justin Bobby is back! And he has a new haircut and hat!

- "Oh I thought we could all be friends," says Stephanie to Heidi. In the words of your crazy brother Spencer: "You are delusional."

- Lauren freaks out when she hears Audrina is having dinner with Justin. Again, who does she think she is?

- I realized that without the unwashed hair, Justin Bobby has nice eyes. Except when he widens them scarily.

- Justin and Audrina are so going to have sex. "Oh, oh" indeed, Justin. "Oh, oh" indeed.

- No! Spencer is in this episode! I was hoping for the last 25 minutes that he would be absent. But he makes up for lack of screen time by being the biggest asshole in the world in less than a minute. That's a new record.

- Lauren and Lo want to move in together with Audrina and yadda, yadda, yadda this is old news.

- "Justin Bobby was just exceptionally dirty," says Lauren just as Audrina comes up behind her. Hey, what are best friends for if you can't tell them the truth?

- Why do Lo, Lauren and Audrina seem so obviously not excited about moving in together? Could it be they actually are not best friends as MTV suggests? All those side glances add so much tension and drama.

Manolo Blahnik at Aldo!

Haha just kidding!
I was browsing the Aldo website just for fun even though their shoes make my feet bleed (see post below) and I came upon these silver open-toe pumps with a jewel centrepiece at the front. Know what they really remind me of? The Manolo Blahnik D'Orsays (aka. the Carrie shoes) that I just bought a couple weeks ago at Holts. Are they a total rip-off or just "inspired?" Let me break down the similarities for you:
1. Both the Aldos and the Manolos are silver
2. Both of them have pleats in the leather
3. Both of them have a crystal-encrusted centrepiece at the front of the shoe
4. Both of them are open-toed

The only difference is that the crystal centrepiece on the Aldo shoes is held by leather straps, whereas on the Manolos, the piece sits on the leather.

My judgment: Manolo Blahnik should sue Aldo's ass for copyright infringement.

But this is one woman's opinion. The pictures speak for themselves:




The real McCoy. Manolo Blahnik D'Orsay shoes. (Photo: Chloe Tejada)

See? They are exactly the same!! The Aldo shoes may only be $80 but be warned, they will tear your feet apart. (Photo: Aldo.com)


That's beautiful Italian craftmanship right there with Swarovski crystals.


Notice that this Aldo shoe tries to imitate the crystal centrepiece of the Manolo? Pfft.

MOSCOW - zri + kriziz genre + stoleshnikov pereulok, 04/21/08

Sexy now online

Christian Louboutin Very Prive pumps are now available on Net-a-Porter. I want them so badly that I wouldn't care if my feet bled when I wore them. Well for $770 they better be damn comfortable. I bought a pair of Aldo black pumps that were "inspired" (ie. they had red soles) by Louboutin. Suffice to say that they were not hand-crafted by the finest shoe-makers in Italy. The first day I wore them I had to use five band aids on each foot and could barely walk after using them for about five minutes. I've been too scared to wear them since. I figure that for that kind of money, Louboutin would make sure his shoes do not cause massive foot hemorrhages. (Photo: Net-a-Porter.com)



These are the imitation Louboutin shoes that made my feet bleed. And they have never recovered.

The Gossip Girl look

The big day is here! Gossip Girl is finally back on the boob tube tonight and I'm looking forward to a) Whether Blair can regain Queen Bee status b)If Chuck will try to get it on with his new stepsister Serena and c) Seeing all those fabulous clothes. TV has been fashion-deprived since the show went off the air due to the writers strike and no, America's Next Top Model is not fashionable in the least.

To celebrate the return of my favorite show on Earth, I'm putting together a look-book of clothes you can actually afford that imitate the Upper East Side cool of Serena and Blair.
Too bad we don't have the limitless wallet as well. XOXO

The Blair look: Schoolgirl Princess

Blair wears a lot of high-collared frilly blouses, babydoll dresses, long coats, headbands, white stockings, killer shoes and preppy skirts. She kind of has that Lolita look going on but it's very stern and grown-up.

To get the look:


Forever 21 pleated skirt. $25.80


Forever 21 chiffon blouse. $23.80

Forever 21 bow headband. $3.80

Oxford patent shoes. Town Shoes. $115

BCBG cotton coat with balloon sleeves. $318


BCBG tweed jacket. $278

Banana Republic bag. $278

The Serena look: Upper East Side Preppy

Serena is a lot more casual than Blair but she always adds an accessory or one standout piece of clothing that takes the outfit to a whole new level. Serena can be caught wearing sparkly mini dresses, vests, skinny jeans, a big bag, blazers, short skirts and boots over black tights.



To get the look:

Smythe double breasted schoolboy blazer.

Smythe double breasted vest in quilted floral with peasant top and skinny jeans.


Tory Burch sequin mini dress. $340


Coach leather bag. $798

Aldo boots. $180

See You Monday 3/4 length leggings. Want Boutique. $29.50


Bebe skinny jeans. $119